


I thought I told you not to do this

by Hashira_Koharu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I’ve decided that this will actually have a loose plot based around KageHina now, M/M, Oblivious Hinata Shouyou, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Overused topic, Sugamama, What Have I Done, cause i can, chat fic, dadchi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-06 00:31:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16378010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hashira_Koharu/pseuds/Hashira_Koharu
Summary: Hinata makes a group chat and Daichi is so done with his children blowing up his phone with notifications.





	1. Hinata makes a group chat and Tsukishima is extra salty

**Author's Note:**

> Road trips are boring and I need something to do. I might do other chapters soon.
> 
> Username key:  
> Hinata = Freak 1  
> Kageyama = Freak 2  
> Daichi = Deadchi  
> Sugawara = Sugamama  
> Tsukishima = Moon child  
> Yamaguchi = gucci mountains  
> Nishinoya = li-bro  
> Asahi = sunrise  
> Tanaka = ryuubrosuke  
> Ennoshita = parent in training  
> Kinoshita = you probably forgot  
> Narita = who we are  
> Kiyoko = Kiyoko  
> Yachi = Yacchan

**Hinata** **Shouyou** has added  **Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei** and 11 other people to **Karasuno chat**

**Sawamura Daichi:** I thought I told you to not allow Tanaka and Nishinoya in the same group chat?

**Hinata Shouyou:**???????? we agreed 2 that??????????????

**Tsukishima Kei:** That one sentence physically hurt me and everyone who has proper grammar skills.

**Yamaguchi Tadashi:** Tsukki! Don’t be rude, you know that he and Kageyama are slow learners. They’ll apply proper rules! Someday...

**Nishinoya Yuu** has changed their name to  **li-bro**

**li-bro:** YOOOOOO YAMAGUCCI THROWIN SOME SHAAAAADE

**Sawamura Daichi:** I’m too late

**Tanaka Ryuunosuke** has changed their name to  **ryuubrosuke**

**ryuubrosuke:** yooooo daichan

**ryuubrosuke:**  can i call you daichan

**Sawamura Daichi:**  no

**ryuubrosuke:**  so daichan 

**Sawamura Daichi:**  I just told you not to call me that.

**ryuubrosuke:**  you should know by now

**Sawamura Daichi:**  Are you ignoring me?

**ryuubrosuke:** that me n noya can never be separated 

**Sugawara Koushi:** lol

**Sawamura Daichi:** Suga, don’t encourage them.

**ryuubrosuke:** WE HAVE MOMS APPROVAL

**li-bro:** YUSHHHHH

**li-bro** has changed **Sugawara Koushi** ’s name to **Sugamama**

**Sugamama:** I guess I can live with this

**Sawamura Daichi:** I’ve lost Suga too...

**Tsukishima Kei:** Now you know how I feel when I lost Yamaguchi to the memers.

**Yamaguchi Tadashi** has changed their name to **gucci mountains**

**gucci mountains** has changed **Tsukishima Kei** ’s name to **moon child**

**gucci mountains:** Wait, what?

**moon child:** My point is proven.

**Hinata Shouyou:** baka saltyshima yamaguchi is still here!!!!!!!

**Kageyama Tobio:** Boke Hinata he doesn’t mean it like that.

**moon child:** Hold on...

**moon child** has changed **Hinata Shouyou** ’s name to **Freak 1**

**moon child** has changed **Kageyama Tobio** ’s name to **Freak 2**

**Freak 2:** why am i the second one?

**Freak 1:** together we make the odd freak quick!!!! smart idea saltyshima 

**moon child:** Like you know what’s smart and what’s not.

**Sugamama:** I recall telling you to not insult Kageyama and Hinata anymore, Tsukishima?

**moon child:** sorry mom

**moon child:** Suga-san*

**li-bro:** were slowly 

**ryuubrosuke:** infecting tsukki 

**moon child:** Speaking of people that call me by that name, Yamaguchi, why did you go so mundane with my name unlike what you would usually do?

**gucci mountains:** I’m not that mean!? I could of made it to do with your obsession with dinosaurs, strawberry shortcake or salt but I didn’t. So be grateful.

**Narita Kazuhito:** lol Yamaguchi you’ve changed a lot in personality 

**gucci mountains:** I still tense up at social or important moments, I’m just comfortable with you all. It’s like we really are family :)

**li-bro:** if im the favourite son then asahi is the scary uncle

**Azumane Asahi:** wait what

**moon child:** Are you all just lurking in the background as we talk?

**Ennoshita Chikara:** Basically.

**li-bro** has changed **Azumane Asahi** ’s name to **sunrise**  

**sunrise:** thanks noya I guess?

**li-bro** has changed **Ennoshita Chikara** ’s name to **parent in training**

**parent in training:** It’s sad that you know what you will afflict on me.

**li-bro** has changed **Kinoshita Hisashi** ’s name to **you probably forgot**

**li-bro** has changed **Narita Kazuhito** ’s name to **who we are**

**you probably forgot:** that’s true and it’s sad that we’ve accepted it.

**li-bro** has changed **Yachi Hitoka** ’s name to **Yacchan**

**li-bro** has changed **Sawamura Daichi** ’s name to **deadchi**

**li-bro:** HA I GOT YOU ALL

**deadchi:** ...

**deadchi:** But what about Shimizu?

**ryuubrosuke:** Kiyoko-san must never be tainted and you know that daichan

**Shimizu Kiyoko** has changed their name to **Kiyoko**

**deadchi:** Alright, everyone’s name has been changed. Now go to sleep, it’s 9:00pm and we have early practice tomorrow.

**ryuubrosuke:** fiiiiiine


	2. Here come dat boi, Ushijima

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata somehow manages to meet Ushijima at a bathroom in a shopping mall and Kageyama and Yamaguchi get involved too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username key:  
> Hinata = Freak 1  
> Kageyama = Freak 2  
> Daichi = Deadchi  
> Sugawara = Sugamama  
> Tsukishima = Moon child  
> Yamaguchi = gucci mountains  
> Nishinoya = li-bro  
> Asahi = sunrise  
> Tanaka = ryuubrosuke  
> Ennoshita = parent in training  
> Kinoshita = you probably forgot  
> Narita = who we are  
> Kiyoko = Kiyoko  
> Yachi = Yacchan

* * *

**gucci mountains:** help

**deadchi:** ?

**Freak 2:** help

**gucci mountains:** I already said that.

**deadchi:** Are you guys... ok?

**gucci mountains:** Hinata needed the toilet.

**deadchi:** Understandable, have a nice day

**Sugamama:** Daichi.

**deadchi:** Who is it this time?

**Freak 2:** Ushibaka 

**gucci mountains:** He’s fighting with Hinata over volleyball.

**Freak 2:** Hinata is fighting ushibaka 

**Freak 2:**  ushibaka is confused

**gucci mountains:** He stole Hinata’s phone and is holding it over his head.

**li-bro:** i feel his pain

**gucci mountains:** He’s looking at Kageyama

**Freak 2:** i feel uncomfortable 

**Freak 1:** I had noticed that you had become increasingly absorbed in your mobile devices, and I borrowed Hinata Shouyou’s phone to ask what that was about.

**Freak 1:** Even better, I’ll make it easier for Hinata Shouyou so he can retrieve his device once again.

**Freak 1** has added **Ushijima Wakatoshi** to **Karasuno chat**

**li-bro** has changed the chat name to **Karasuno + ushiwaka**  

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** This shall prove to be much easier.

**Freak 1:** IM SORRY 

**Freak 2:** dont worry hinata boke 

**Freak 1:** YOU SAYING THAT MAKES ME FEEL WORSE

**Freak 2:** you cant control your height. it was

**gucci mountains:** inevitable 

**Freak 2:** this wud happen

**Freak 1:** ....................

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** It was... nice to meet you all once again. I hope that you shall do well in our stead in Nationals

**gucci mountains** has changed **Ushijima Wakatoshi** ’s name to **moo-d**

**you probably forgot:** he hesitated.

**who we are:** even us lurkers/benchwarmers are offended.

**parent in training:** We stand up though?

**Yacchan:** You guys still sit on the bench sometimes.

**sunrise:** hi yacchan

**moo-d:** Who are you?

**Yacchan:** I 

**Yacchan:** Uh

**Yacchan:** could ask you the same thing

**Yacchan:** actually

**Yacchan:** Who

**Yacchan:** Are you?

**moo-d:** I apologise. I am Ushijima Wakatoshi

* * *

  **Yacchan** \+ **gucci mountains**

 

**Yacchan:** Why is Ushiwaka in our chat??!!!!!

**gucci mountains:** He stole Hinata’s phone.

**Yacchan:** !!!!? What do I say to him then??

**gucci mountains:** He asked you a question a couple minutes ago.

**Yacchan:** REALLY????

* * *

**Karasuno + ushiwaka**

**moon child:** “Yacchan” is Yachi Hitoka, our first year manager due to take over when Shimizu-senpai and the other third years leave.

**moo-d:** Oh, I see.

**moo-d:** I apologise, Yacchan

* * *

**Yacchan** \+ **moon child**

 

**Yacchan:** Tsukishima, you’re a life saver!

**moon child:** I know how you tense up whenever you meet intimidating people. We’ve got your back.

**moon child:** He said hi, btw.

**Yacchan:** I SHOULD SAY HI BACK THEN??

**moon child:** I assume that is what normal people do.

* * *

  **Karasuno + ushiwaka**

 

**Yacchan:** Hi... Ushibaka 

**Yacchan:** I MEAN USHIWAKA OR USHIJIMA IM SO SORRY

* * *

**moon child** \+ **Freak 2**

 

**moon child:** Kageyama, cover.

**Freak 2:** im doing this 4 yachi not you btw

**moon child:** ugh Yes, I know.

* * *

  **Karasuno + ushiwaka**

 

**F** **reak 2:** sorry I 

**gucci mountains:** engrained

**Freak 2:** that name into her head when we were talkin 

**moo-d:** ah

**moo-d:** That is a very... clever way to interpret my given name.

**moo-d:** It is nice to be aquainted.

**deadchi:** Stop blowing up my phone with notifications on my date with Suga.

**deadchi:** How can you text for 10-20 minutes straight? 

**Sugamama:** You do know that you can mute them, right?

**deadchi:** Oh, yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So supportive of Yachi (^-^)
> 
> This fic honestly is based off of how fast the group chat I’m in moves topics and no one knows what is going on.


	3. Mother gets some help.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushibaka's exposure to memes and Kageyama almost kills Hinata

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's a little short but I had an idea that I couldn't extend more.
> 
> Username key:  
> Hinata = Freak 1  
> Kageyama = Freak 2  
> Daichi = deadchi  
> Sugawara = Sugamama  
> Tsukishima = Moon child  
> Yamaguchi = gucci mountains  
> Nishinoya = li-bro  
> Asahi = sunrise  
> Tanaka = ryuubrosuke  
> Ennoshita = parent in training  
> Kinoshita = you probably forgot  
> Narita = who we are  
> Kiyoko = Kiyoko  
> Yachi = Yacchan  
> Ushijima = moo-d

**who we are:** dude, what if we had theme songs

 **who we are:** wrong chat but the question still stands

 **Freak 2:** i thought we already had 1

 **moo-d:** I do not recall ever hearing of Karasuno having a theme song for their team?

 **Freak 2:** pparently its called hikari are + weve had 4 others b4 that

 **Freak 1:** KAGEYAMA

 **Freak 2:** what do u want

 **Freak 1:** A WALL JUST COLLAPSED NEXT TO ME

 **Sugamama:** ARE YOU OKAY?

 **deadchi:** Are you okay?

 **moon child:** Subtle differences between our parents.

 **moon child:** Is the wall okay?

 **moo-d:** You remind me of my kouhai, Shirabu Kenjirou, somehow. Is it, what Tendou has told me before, salt?

 **li-bro:** bro... just realised but so formal

 **ryuubrosuke:** the hell you think you are mr. u19??????

 **moon child:** Even I'm disturbed.

 **moo-d:** I do not understand?

 **li-bro:** were coming to shiratorizawa

 **deadchi:** No, you're not.

 **moo-d:** Greetings, I shall open the door so you can come inside.

 **Sugamama:** I'll go get them.

* * *

 **moo-d:** It's sad that u 2 have 2 go, I learnt a lot from u.

 **li-bro:** its progress

 **ryuubrosuke:** y did u have 2 drag us out suga-san????

 **Sugamama:** <

 **deadchi:** A mother's duty to take care of the children.

 **Sugamama:** And isn't it a father's job to h e l p?

 **moo-d:** rip in pepperonis

 **Sugamama:** What did you two teach him?

**li-bro:[run](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdAyC1t5ZvA)**

**ryuubrosuke:** YESSIR

* * *

 **Semi Eita** \+ **Sugawara Koushi**

 **Sugawara Koushi:** Semi-san, you might want to keep an extra eye on Ushijima.

 **Semi Eita:** What happened now?

 **Sugawara Koushi:** Two of my own have taught him memes and less-than-proper grammar.

 **Semi Eita:** And what should I expect from him?

 **Sugawara Koushi:** So far, they've only been able to teach him MLG memes before I caught up to them. They are definitely going to teach him more if they have the chance. 

 **Sugawara Koushi:** In fact, I'll just add you into the chat.

* * *

**Karasuno + ushiwaka**

 

 **Sugamama** has added  **Semi Eita** to **Karasuno + ushiwaka**

 **li-bro** has changed **Semi Eita's** name to **emo suga**

 **li-bro** has changed the chat name to **Karasuno + 2 extras**

 **emo suga:** I suddenly understand why you needed my help. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^^^^^^^^ my shower thoughts
> 
> buuuuuut..... SEMI EITA EVERYONE
> 
> where am i going with this.  
> This chapter was supposed to be oikawa but that'll happen next time.  
> also kageyama broke the 4th wall, lol.


	4. Milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata is way too oblivious and pure for his own good and Yamaguchi teases Tsukki about dinosaurs.
> 
> Oh, and Oikawa's here too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woot procrastination
> 
> Sorry I couldn't get this out sooner
> 
> Username key:  
> Hinata = Freak 1  
> Kageyama = Freak 2  
> Daichi = deadchi  
> Sugawara = Sugamama  
> Tsukishima = Moon child  
> Yamaguchi = gucci mountains  
> Nishinoya = li-bro  
> Asahi = sunrise  
> Tanaka = ryuubrosuke  
> Ennoshita = parent in training  
> Kinoshita = you probably forgot  
> Narita = who we are  
> Kiyoko = Kiyoko  
> Yachi = Yacchan  
> Ushijima = moo-d  
> Semi = emo suga

**Freak 1:** kageyama dont u walk away from me

**Freak 2:** just did 

 

 **Freak 1:** kageyAAMAAAAAAA

**moon child:** What did he do now?

**Freak 1:** milk

**gucci mountains:** Yes, we already know that Kageyama would dump you for a carton of milk.

**ryuubrosuke:** OOOOOOOOOH

**li-bro:** you just got OWNED 

**Yacchan:** ...I think he means Kageyama’s cat, Milk...

 

 **moon child:** Of course that simpleton would name a cat, Milk. 

**Yacchan:** Tsukishima-kun! 

**gucci mountains:** Yeah Tsukishima-kun, remember when you named your pet ahemnw &jahwj

 

 **moon child:** Yamaguchi

 

 **gucci mountains:** Sorry Tsukki, it’s just that I don’t 

**gucci mountains:** Understand why you would name a tortoise, T-Rex

 

 **li-bro:** woah dude y the separate texts 

**gucci mountains:** Tsukki’s chasing me.

 

 **moon child:** I was inexperienced with dinosaur species and, for your information, I was s e v e n.

 

 **gucci mountains:** sorry tsukki.

**Freak 1:** still stuck here

**Yacchan:** Sorry!!!

**Yacchan:** How are you stuck?

**Yacchan:** You were visiting Kageyama’s house, weren’t you?

 

 **Yacchan:** DID MILK LOCK YOU IN THE BASEMENT IN REVENGE FOR YOU BEING KAGEYAMA’S BOYFRIEND?

 

 **Freak 1:** wait what

 

 **Freak 2:** yachi

**Yacchan:** MY MISTAKE DONT MIND ME IM SORRY JUST IGNORE THAT

 

 **Freak 2:** yachi

 

 **Yacchan:**...

 

 **Yacchan:** Yeah...?

 

 **Freak 2:** please dont

 

 **Yacchan:** Yeah... sure...

 

 **Sugamama:** I hear my children hurting.

 

 **emo suga:** I sense hurting children. I want to watch

 

 **Sugamama:** You... are a terrible parent.

 

 **emo suga:** they ain't my children.

 

 **Freak 1:** milk is crawling up my chest

 

 **emo suga:** Take the cat off of your chest then.

 

 **Freak 1:** kageyamas cat has a very short temper

 

 **Freak 2:** my cat has a very short temper

 

 **Sugamama:** Kageyama, get your cat off of Hinata.

 

 **Freak 2:** fine

* * *

**Sugamama + Freak 2**

 

 **Sugamama:** Are you okay?

 

 **Freak 2:** ...

 

 **Freak 2:** how did u do it

 

 **Sugamama:** Do what?

 

 **Freak 2:** you know

 

 **Freak 2:** confess to daichi-san

 

 **Sugamama:** I'm probably the wrong person to ask. I went up to him and kissed him, because if he won't man up and say anything then I will.

 

 **Sugamama:** If anything, you can probably confide in Yachi. I'm pretty sure everyone but Shimizu knows about her pining.

 

 **Sugamama:** If you really want me to, I could always ask Hinata about what he thinks about you?

 

 **Freak 2:** no

 

 **Freak 2:** ill think it over

 

 **Sugamama:** I know a way to take your mind off things!

 

 **Freak 2:** suga-san no

* * *

**Karasuno + 2 extras**

 

 **Sugamama** has added **Oikawa Tooru** and **Iwaizumi Hajime** to **Karasuno + 2 extras**

 **li-bro** has changed the chat name to  **Karasuno + 4 extras**

 

 **Freak 2:** suga-san that hardly helps

 

 **Sugamama:** Mother knows best. You'll see.

 

 **Oikawa Tooru:** owo

 

 **Oikawa Tooru:** hewwo Tobio-chaaaaaaaaaaan!!

 

 **Freak 2:** _he has my number now_

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this an excuse to add Oikawa?  
> Yes
> 
> Will I regret this?  
> No
> 
> Is Oikawa really hot?  
> Ye- wait who put that there?
> 
> ANYWAY, I felt really bad for starting this and then leaving it for weeks. expect oikawa to brighten up the place when i get more free time


End file.
